the scene from spongebob where the guy says “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning, I break my legs and every afternoon, I break my arms.” was the pinnacle of television literally how did the writers of spongebob come up with that did they win a peabody award
(via prettyamazinggrace)
start talking again when i know what to say
- someone doing a tarot reading for me: i don't know what's going on here like i just keep getting "the fool" over & over again? every card i pull. the whole deck is just "the fool" now. which shouldn't even be physically possible
- me, a fucking fool: figures
my anxiety has a loophole that if somebody is else is equally or more uncomfortable I develop the sudden ability to Do The Thing
i cant go and ask for more ketchup for myself but if my friend wants more ketchup im out of my seat in a second
The mom friend override
(via bobsburgersrestaurant)
- french films: walking to the train eye contact sex sex sex food sex smoking crying when you ate me out i loved you why am i crying fin
I’m 11 and I eat weed every day fuck you
(via the-legendof-zack)
young adult things: washing your colors with your whites because you don’t care you JUST don’t fucking care
(via the-legendof-zack)
(via prettyamazinggrace)
yeah hes cute but does he care about your mental health
I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”
(via reshipped)
(via alligatorsuit)